This has to be the hardest thing to do when creating a blog, those words “create your first post.” You just kind of stare at that viscous blinking cursor with the one thought going through your head, “what should i say first?” So here I am rambling on because I’m not sure what I want to get across in this blog. I’ll tell you a little about myself.
I am a 19 year old young woman, living between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. I will get into greater detail as to why later, but for now I’ll explain why I started this blog. I was raised Mormon and baptized at that ripe age of 8. When I was 13 my parents had a divorce that shook my family and my beliefs in the church. This resulted in my inactivity and some not so good decisions. Well two months ago my best friend/soul mate/role model (who you will hear a lot about) told me she had put in her papers to serve her mission and will be receiving her mission call sometime in January. I bawled with sadness in my heart knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see my best friend for a year and a half and I had plenty of selfish thoughts run through my head, when in the midst of it all a sweet gentle calm wrapped around my body and I knew this needed to happen.
Given I was pretty wasted at the time, I don’t think she told me at the most appropriate time, but hey she’s the queen of that. That Sunday I decided to go to church with her. It just so happened to be fast Sunday and for those of you who don’t know what that is it’s the first Sunday of every month where the church members are encouraged to fast for two consecutive meals to bring us closer to our Heavenly Father, it’s also a time where we are encouraged to bare our testimonies in front of the whole congregation. If I would have realized this I probably wouldn’t have gone because I always feel awkward listening to people cry.
When the bishop turned the time over to fast and testimony meeting I started to feel that pinch at the back of my eyes and really hollow feeling in my stomach then my best friend stood up to speak, as did her sister and the next thing I know I’m up and following them to the stand. As I sat down to wait my turn I stated crying and thought to myself, “Well now that I’m up here what in the world am I going to say? Are you nuts child these people know what you’ve done and they know who you are. They aren’t going to take you seriously” It was my turn, i stood up and my knees buckled. I walked up to the stand and started shaking. I started off with “I apologize ahead of time for trying to talk while I’m up here crying, but I’ll articulate as well as I can just bare with me.” I’ll try and summarize the worlds longest testimony in another post, but basically after that overwhelming “coming to Jesus” moment I swore to get back on the straight and narrow. So here I am writing about a different topic every Monday and posting my inexpensive outfits along with it! I hope I can get through to at least one person with this blog, young or old, man or woman, it doesn’t matter I just hope to help someone come back to the safest place I know.
Coming back hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be, and I’d like to show you that.